Funny Places

Its a Duck... in a bag


China- NangYang

Sometimes cycling on relatively nice smooth straight and flat roads for eight hours a day can be a bit tedious- who would have guessed. To deal with the tedium I find its best to simply let the mind go blank, not quite the imagine a candle meditation blank but close, I go to that place of Zen when I’m not really thinking of anything but not deliberatly thinking of nothing either. This is when I get my great ideas, if I ever do invent a revolutionary vacuum cleaner like that Dyson lad I’ll get my epiphany in one of these moments, I’m sure of it.

Trouble is, for the last two weeks, each time I almost get to that state, I’m reminded of something that was so funny I’m reduced to fits of uncontrollable giggles every time.

On our second day out of Shanghai, myself and Si stopped for dinner in a cheap noodlery. The girl serving us was studying english in college so we got chatting. We chatted about Ireland, and China. She asked questions about foriengers and we dutifully replied and it was all very cordial and amicable. The topic of conversation turned to sports and we asked what sports people played in that town. Then, out of the blue she turns to Si and, with emphasis on tthe last word, asks matter of factly, with a heavy chinese accent(obviously):

Why You Wear Your Hair Like That?

You Look…Terrible

I nearly choked on my chili noodles as I laughed solidly for nearly five minutes, Si said… “eh, thanks” and the girl just continued to talk about sport as if nothing had happened ignoring my guffaws, noodles almost coming out of my nose as I convulsed uncontrolably .  

I admit, some of the comediac value may be lost in the re-telling but it was singularly one of the funniest sentences I’ve ever heard an utterly unintentional put down; so inappropriate, so insulting, spoken in earnest, and absolutely, asmathic attack inducingly hilarious.

Now, several times a day when my mind is blank and I can sense a great epiphany rising from my sub-concious, that  fecking girl’s face pops into my mind and says; “you look… terrible” then I think of Si’s slightly insulted slightly bemused face as he tries to compute the verbal bitch slap he’s just been given. I loose control, and I’m chuckling to myself like a school boy.

I’m laughing to myself again now just typing this.



6 thoughts on “Funny Places

  1. My wife has the same moments (not telling me that my hats are terrible) – the inventions thing. I bought her a little leather book and had it embossed with ‘Finola’s Inventions’. That’s what you need! but I’m not sure on how you’d write them down!

  2. Lads I’m wetting myself laughing in the office here, not sure the Swedes know what to make of it! I can just see the look on Si’s face, one of shear bemusement mixed with indignation in the middle of all that red hair…

  3. Pingback: Revolution Cycle - first irish circumnavigation of the world by bicycle - blog » Blog Archive » Update from Kyrgyzstan: Distance Since Greystones - 15,555km

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