Festive Beard Blog

Fearghal and Simon, Salar de Uyuni


“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless—boys and women—and I am neither one.” -Greek saying

Beard’s are synonymous with adventure. Nothing says hard and rugged like a bristled chin.
A few day’s growth says you’ve left the city, and its bourgeois concerns about daily shaving
and other such civilised conventions behind. That you’re out doing manly things; triumphing
over nature and beast like you’ve evolved to do.

Shackleton knew it, Darwin knew it, and Genghis Khan knew it (though his mongol gene’s didn’t
make for the most impressive bush). Facial topiary is essential kit for a long arduous journey.

The adventurers penchant for a full face is partly due to the undeniable heroic aesthetic of
strained face covered in a tangled hedge – the iconic Hero Picture; pursed lips, worn
weathered features eyes squinted against the wind/snow/dust just wouldn’t have the same effect with a
clean cut naked chin.

Beards are also surprisingly practical when out in the wilds. Below, are six reasons that
any adventure loving red blooded male shouldn’t leave home without that essential piece of kit-
the venerable beard;

1.Thrifty: It saves money on suncream. Crossing the deserts of Western China we found our beards
invaluable for keeping the sun off our faces. Just don’t forget you still need to cover your nose or
you’ll look like a baboon’s arse with your big red hooter peeping out of a tangled mass of hair.

2.Repellent: After a few months’ growth you’ll start to look like a vagrant, add this to a few days riding in the same sweaty clothes and you quickly become someone that people cross the streets to avoid.
This is a very god look in places like Bolivia or Ecuador where security levels are not great.

3.Prop: A nice long beard is great for bidding time when negotiating your way out of tough situations,
stroking your three inch goatee philosophically can be a handy way of covering up the fact that
you are scared shitless of the toothless agitated guy with the hand gun tucked into his belt..

4.Image: As mentioned before, nothing says heroic endeavour than a picture of a bearded wethered face
This is even better if the beard is partially or fully frozen.

5. Wind Vein : your beard grows past two or three inches lenght you can feel a tug on it in a cross wind, this can be an invaluable meteorological tool helping you predict advancing storms with accuracy

Whether you’ve a Craig David or a Ronnie Drew don’t leave home without that essential piece of kit- the beard.

This Post was originally featured on beard.ie


3 thoughts on “Festive Beard Blog

  1. Great to see the beards are coming along nicely! Hope you both have a very Happy Christmas and enjoy celebrating the festive period in style.

  2. I am at the 1 inch stage and have more grey than i thought I would have. It is great when running – keeps the cold off your neck. Although I have transitioned from neat in a suit to hobo in a month.

    I am really tempted to shave it into a Mexican porno moustache with big pork chop side burns.

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